What has never been mentioned about relationships

by Marcus Freudenmann
 

In this article, you will find a message very different from what you are probably used to hearing. I am not going to share with you tactics on how to hold, repair, or even rescue your relationship, but I will give you ample reasons to appreciate what you have.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT AS IT IS

You have a very unique set of values. These values represent all your likes and dislikes that you have acquired over your lifetime. They constitute what you are, or at least what we can perceive as you. They are the reasons for your incarnation. Your whole being is based on how you feel about certain things and how you deal with them. These imprints are, to a certain extent, created in this life and have been impressed upon you through countless repetitions, but you have also brought many of these values with you from all your previous incarnations. They are your karmic luggage and represent all the things you have loaded with an emotional imbalance or charge. This set of values (preferences and dislikes) is like a scale you use for evaluating everything around you.

This evaluation does not need to be conscious to be true. You utilize it in your day-to-day activities. Notice that when you enter a room, you immediately have a preference for some and antipathy towards others – even without personally knowing anyone. You will filter the world around you according to these values. You do this not only with your explicit 5 senses (sight, hearing, taste, touch, and smell) but with all your finer intuitive senses as well. Values (preferences and dislikes) are emotional charges based on your opinion about something, which you label as positive or negative.

Here is an example: A client of mine described with passionate arguments how office work and filing is a horrible job. He was very emotional about the fact that it was something he hated to do, and he had to do it all by himself. My secretary was listening to his verbal outburst and was all the while contemplating his point. This was because she considers his hell as her heaven and knows that she would rejoice in files and folders for weeks, enjoying the order and tidiness she could create.

Whatever you feel as a preference or as a strong attraction is backed by an opinion, i.e., that you stand to have more benefits than drawbacks, more pleasure than pain, or more gains than losses from this person, item, activity, or thought. And whatever you dislike and reject is programmed in your mind as liable to give you more pain than pleasure, or more losses than gains.

Some of those opinions are just a little bit imbalanced, and some are completely out of balance. Fanatics and fundamentalists most likely manifest themselves at the top end of the spectrum.Each of the different states of imbalance will, by law, attract an opposition which is absolutely equivalent to that imbalance in terms of power. And this opposition is provided to you by our universe, free of charge, to help you find your way back to a balanced state. Only when you can love the other side will you be free of it. I think “turn the other cheek” was meant to be taken in this context.

Let me elaborate here once more on the law of attraction which is so often mistaken as wishful thinking. You attract situations, people, items, and feelings into your life which allow you to correct your imbalanced perspective. If you think that order and organization are the most essential of all things, then this need is generated by your perception that disorder is bad. And because Voids drive Values, you most likely will have a lot of chaos in your life. I can guarantee that you have no more chaos than anyone else, but you will perceive it much more than someone who has no charge about it.

What the universe provides you is the exact and most appropriate situation, partner, kids, family, friends, business partners, or neighbors to dissolve this imbalance in your lifetime. You will, by law, repeatedly attract people and situations to your life, and these will provide exactly the elements which help you balance your imbalance. This is why you will continuously attract the same type of partner into your life until you grow out of it. It’s like the universe is saying that you haven’t finished your assignment, so let’s try again. I call this process revolution. Until a process is completely resolved, it revolves around our lives and sticks like glue. Once we have embraced it and learned to love it, we would have evolved.

Now let’s look into your RELATIONSHIPS. Can you see this law at work in them? Do you have exactly that which you need to train as your close partner? I guess you see it. You are in the ring with a sparring partner who is your friend. He/she likes you to understand the lesson and is equal in strength and persistence to live out exactly what you have not learned to love. If we compare relationships using this metaphor of a boxing ring, and your training partner is causing you some difficulties, then remember that he/she is not there to be your enemy and to make your life hell, but instead is a friendly soul that has agreed to help you balance an imbalanced opinion. The more you give in, the less the pressure. The more you try to change and fix something, the greater the opposition.

This process is like the famous story of the chicken and the egg. You’ll never know which came first or who is causing the trouble, but both learn from each other and both only learn the same lesson when they come from opposite ends.We can see this very often in a parent-child relationship. Parents who want to force their opinion onto their kids and try to keep the pressure up for a long time achieve only one result. Their kids learn to stand on their own feet and fight for their own rights. They become as stubborn as their parents, or become extremely jealous individuals. They will always be attracted to the charm and esprit of those who think affairs are not a bad thing.

Somehow, this process is magical, as many do not clearly see in the beginning what they are getting into. The blinding factors are dependent on how conscious you are and how engaged you are on the emotional swing. If you are highly imbalanced, you cannot see what you are getting involved with. You start completely blind, usually on the high end of the swing, and see only the good and the beneficial. After a few weeks, when the bond has been created and all emotional strings are attached, the other end wants to be recognized as well and will pull up to the surface. In case you have forgotten the purpose of a relationship: You are here to love both sides, not just the side you perceive as positive. You are to take the whole coin and not a single side of it. Otherwise, you’ll never be rich.

The biggest imbalance, which starts out with a huge high, usually has a huge low on the other side. This is – by law and the forces of gravity – a fact, but still everybody wants the sweet end. You are addicted to something that will never come without the bitter aftertaste. If you do not believe me, write down in the comment box below the things you perceive as only good – all the things you think have no alternate or bad side to them, I’d love to discuss them with you.

The big problem why so many are stuck in revolution instead of evolution, or ranting instead of growing beyond their difficulties, is because when they don’t get what they want, they think that by increasing the want, they will get it one day; that they only need to keep up the positive thinking and it will happen. Unfortunately again, as we all know, this is not the case. The more a jealous partner enforces the prison, the more the other side becomes fed up and will eventually run away. And the more one partner seeks the freedom to do what he or she wants, the other party will close its arms around that person and hold tight.

Trying with force to have it my way never works and will always lead to confrontation and to war…just like the fanatic peace fighters.

HERE IS THE SOLUTION.

YOUR RELATIONSHIP IS PERFECT AS IT IS

There is a simple solution to solving your relationship problems. The answer is Love. I do not mean the love we have for a partner based on lust. I’m also not talking about the love which is based on trying to make them do what we want them to, no matter how concerned we are for their well-being, but the Love of acceptance for what people are. Friends help us GROW beyond the limitation of judgment and imbalance.

Look at it that this way: If you would not have your problems, you would not have a friend helping you to overcome them. The big challenge is that this is the only way you can influence the outcome. Have you ever heard of the quote, “What you resist, persists”? Well, the answer is already in this little quote. You need to love the other side – that which you resist – before you can grow beyond it. I am certainly well aware that this is not an easy job and is completely against our nature. To walk into the pain is not something we learn at school. Unfortunately, it is the only process that takes us out of it.

Why not try to be sad and try to increase the sadness at will? You will see that you end up in laughter. Try to be mean, and you’ll see yourself ending up helping others. Try to be funny and make jokes all the time, and you will end up in tears. Try it out. I really encourage you to do it. You will see that we are built like the pendulum in a dual concept which always has to swing back at us. The result does not become the enemy (red arrow); the purpose does.

A kind suggestion: If you can see how what I have described above plays in your life and the truth behind it, you are ready for a completely new experience - the journey of transformation.

About 3 years back, I met Dr. John F. Demartini who runs the Breakthrough Experience all over the world. He has developed a method of collapsing our single-sided perspectives in a way that everybody can experience. When I saw the effects and the outcome, I was completely blown away as I immediately understood that he had found a method to transcend, one by one, not only relationship issues, but all our lopsided perspectives – all in a matter of hours. A process such as this could otherwise take an eternity. Immediately, I dedicated a whole workshop around this method which I called, “Evolution Instead of Revolution”. Since meeting John, I have attended all the necessary teacher training seminars, as well as John’s advanced courses in the Concourse of Wisdom.

I am completely confident in my efforts in supporting and introducing his method to you, and hope that you will join in any of the Transformation Experiences I will conduct in the Melbourne Area as well as the Breakthrough Program led by John.